So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
