But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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