Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
