did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
