Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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