fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
A+ Viking dick
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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