shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
