i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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