she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
