Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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