It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize