You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
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You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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