accomplished twins. life is a go
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize