Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
