why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
