I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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