Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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