Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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