Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
