rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
