Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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