I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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