just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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