I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
