Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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