OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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