I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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