Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I understand Curling. That high.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
