Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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