If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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