I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Randomize
