You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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