Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nicole vs. Life
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
