no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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