We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
