i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
