I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
