We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
