I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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