The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
