I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
