the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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