I'm so fucking centered right now
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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