I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
