peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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