Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize