Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
