just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize