you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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