My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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