his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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