Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
