Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
