I don't usually arrange sex via text message
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
