It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm sobbing to NWA
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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