just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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