Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
