He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
