bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
