If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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