Your face is a jimmy john
I'm gonna have a badass scar
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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