my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
