Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
