How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
