Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm eating all of the evidence.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
