no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
