Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
