Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
