Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
