so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
