Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
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WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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