dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize