i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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