But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
