Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im holly from the hills drunk
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
