okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
