I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
