apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
