Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
