I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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